Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex. Show all posts

Friday, September 9, 2016

Why are God's People Afraid to be Real?

In the past I thought being a good Christian meant wearing a mask. Projecting an image of happiness and wholeness to all those around me. I thought the mask would help others to see Jesus through me. It would keep my brokenness from becoming a distraction to others. I would wear this mask that I created and when the mask would slip, I would become overcome with guilt for failing as a Christian.

Through the last several years, I have found that sometimes people can see God most shining through the cracks of my brokenness. I was doing God no favors by being artificial. God wanted to use my brokenness. He wanted to heal my brokenness. He wanted to love me in my brokenness.

As a society we have things that are stigmatized. Things that go unspoken for fear of rejection and judgement. Sadly, this is not much more different in our Christian walk.There are some subjects that are uncomfortable and can make us feel vulnerable.

Top Three Things Christians Hide: (Some of these overlap)

1. Mental Illness- Depression, Anxiety, Postpartum, Bipolar, PTSD, Schizophrenia, ect.

As I struggle with depression I find times when I feel the need to fake a smile, even when I am feeling shattered. Sometimes it is to hide my struggle. Sometimes it is to not make someone else uncomfortable. Also, sometimes it is because it makes me feel like I can just make it through. I am one of those personalities where if I am on the verge of crying and a friend tries to comfort me through kind words or through even just a touch, I fall apart and have a hard time gaining composure again.

In our society, mental illnesses are seen as weakness. They are often misunderstood. As Christians we are one body. So why can't we be vulnerable with our brothers and sisters in Christ? How is our pride getting in the way of allowing us to seek support and prayer? Are our expectations of others and attitudes keeping others from reaching out to us?

2. Addictions- Drugs, Alcohol, Food, Pornography, ect.

As I struggle with overeating I feel a deep sense of shame and guilt. I will have a nagging thought that seems to get louder and louder as I entertain it. I seek it for comfort. It makes me feel better, but the feeling is so short lived and I end up feeling defeated and worse than before. It is an idol that I have given myself to and that I felt could take away the pain. Food is not the only addiction I have had in my life, but at this time it is the one that I struggle with day by day, hour by hour, sometimes moment by moment.

If so many with addictions find help with support groups, how many more Christians could if we could be open about our struggles? If we could listen, support, and pray for them? Unfortunately, judgmental attitudes get in the way of showing love to each other. Imagine a brother or sister in Christ came to you and said, "Please pray for me. I am addicted to pain pills." How easy would it be to judge that person? It can be so easy to compare ourselves to others, when really we should be comparing ourselves to Jesus.

3. Sexual Immorality- Lust, Adultery, Pornography, ect.

A little over ten years ago, I had an emotional affair that turned into physical affair. It had started as a friendship. Someone who I felt understood me and who made me feel better about myself, when at the time I felt I was in a loveless marriage. I quickly became emotionally attached to the person. My heart would start racing when I saw their number on the caller id. I would find reasons to go and talk. After having a fight with my husband, I went to my friend for comfort. The emotional affair became physical and I had committed adultery. I was so attached to this person that I was willing to break apart my family. My life quickly fell apart. It was soon after that I allowed Jesus to be the Lord of my life.Thankfully, God has worked so many miracles in my life and has brought healing and restoration into my marriage.

In the church sex and sexual immorality is often a topic that is brushed aside. We feel uncomfortable talking about it and it has become faux pas. So many families are or have been impacted by sexual sins. It seems almost like we believe if we ignore it, it will go away. Sexual sins are embarrassing, but they wont just go away. Jesus was a great example with the Samaritan woman at the well. 


John 4:15-19 The woman said to him, “Sir, give me this water so that I won’t get thirsty and have to keep coming here to draw water.”
 He told her, “Go, call your husband and come back.”
“I have no husband,” she replied.
Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”
 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet.
John 4:39-41 Many of the Samaritans from that town believed in him because of the woman’s testimony, “He told me everything I ever did.”  So when the Samaritans came to him, they urged him to stay with them, and he stayed two days.  And because of his words many more became believers.

Why should we get real?

*Not only are mental illnesses, addictions, and sexual immorality similar in the way they are stigmatized, they are all very isolating struggles. They lead to others withdrawing and trying to handle it on their own. If we as a body can start communicating about them, it will remove some of the power of them. We can then lift each other up and encourage each other. 

Ecclesiastes 4:12 Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.


1 Thessalonians 5:11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.


*We are a light, even in our brokenness. The world is filled with fallen broken people. If we can be real with others, they can see that God loves us in our brokenness. We are unable to do good on our own, but God still uses us to bring Him glory. How cool to have a God that can use the very things that we struggle with, to help others. 

1 Timothy 1:15-17 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen.

Brothers and Sisters, 
If you are struggling and you feel all alone, you are not! It may feel like the world is caving in on you and like you are just trying to survive. Even then, God is still there. He loves you so much and you are precious to Him. Please reach out to a friend, family member, a doctor, or a pastor. We are stronger with others at our side. Please let me know if there is any way I can pray for you! 
God Bless, 
Faith

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Vlog Challenge: Biggest Turn-off(s)

I have several things that turn me off. But the two biggest ones would have to be my daughters. There is nothing like the fear that strikes when you hear little foot steps coming down the hallway or the guilt you feel upon hearing little cries for your attention while doing "laundry" (as my friend calls it). 







What are your biggest turn-offs? 

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

The 6 best things about being an adult




Mama’s Losin’ It
Since I was up anyway, I decided to write a prompt from Mama Kat's writer's workshop..

The 6 best things about being an adult...


1. Not having to wait and eat all my dinner before eating my dessert. I once sat with my daughter at the table for dinner and I began to eat my dessert. She told me that I was supposed to wait until after I finished all my food. I said, "No dear, You have to eat dinner first. I did my time." She continued to tell me how unfair life was so I told her, "It ends up fair in the end. When you are grown up and a mommy you can eat dessert while your kids eat their dinners." She was pleased with my explanation. 


I had told a friend of mine and she thought it was unfair of me to do this... I had to remind her of all the times the kids eat the lollipops, ice-cream, and other treats while we are left watching them. 




2. Messy room... While I try to keep the living room straightened, I say try because it seems to be impossible at times, I don't have to keep my room clean. I know my hubby would appreciate it so I am going to work on it, but my mommy and daddy are not going to come over and look at my room. If I have the rest of the house looking decent they don't even know the jungle that is my room. I have stacks of papers and "stuff" on the dressers that are like trees, I have a river of clothes stretching from one door to the next, and I have hills of crumpled blankets and sheets on the bed. Occasionally, I have two little monkeys swinging from my husband to me as we lay like rocks refusing to believe that it is 9am on a Saturday. 




3. Ok, so we are all adults on here... well at least I am. Thus the choice of this blog post. One thing I think it best about being an adult is sex. There I said it.... I am married and God created it to be something awesome between a husband and wife. I do find it funny that it is faux paux for  a wife and a mother to talk about sex publicly, while at the same time it is all over tv, magazines, and other sources of media. I just know that someone might become angry or think this is inappropriate but I think it so extremely appropriate. In a marriage sex is fun, relaxing, and builds intamacy... well at least for me it is. 

Lol... anyone remember this? 


4. Choices... As an adult I can make choices that I couldn't as a child. I can say no to an adult. I can decide to not play with someone who is mean or doesn't share. I can choose what to study, if I want to study. I can also choose to spend my money on toys instead of saving. Some choices might be better for me than others but I am the one making them. 




5. As an adult our bodies are still changing. We begin to get aches and pains from what seem like random things. We also get hormone rushes... but I am so so thankful that the hormonal changes and rushes of the teens is over. At least now I am able to recognize them as what they are. I don't know who had the bright idea to shove all the hormonal children together in classrooms, that is just a recipe for disaster. I know some very brave men and women who would not want to be anywhere near a  junior high or high school. Those were some of the most confusing and frustrating times of my life... there was way too much drama and I wasn't confident enough in myself to just ignore or stop talking to people. It don't want it to sound like I didn't like anyone and didn't have fun but at that time I had the emotions of a child, the hormones of a teen, and the body of an adult. Puberty sucks. Too bad it wasn't like in HSM... breaking out in song and dance would have at least been more entertaining. 




6. Having children. When I had my older daughter I was not an adult. According to the law I was but in maturity I was nowhere close. I was truly blessed that God helped me through and helped me to mature and become the woman I am today. I enjoy being a mother so much more now, as an adult, then I did then. I don't have as much anxiety about "screwing her up" as I did then. I am so blessed by my two beautiful daughters.

What are your favorite things about being an adult? 




Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Feels Soo Good to be Bad.

Why does it feel so good to be bad and yet so blah to be good? 

I was remembering the feelings I had when I was first dating and engaged to my now hubby. There was such a spark, such an excitement, and such a pure magnetism. 

We had a whirlwind romance. We were engaged after just twelve days of dating. When I met him I wanted to spend every waking moment talking to him and kissing him. I could feel my heart flutter and my cheeks become warm from the blood rushing to them. When he looked at me I felt like the sexiest woman alive. Just a glance would make me smile ear to ear. 

Our love was a rebellious love. My parents thought that I had fallen too fast and too soon. Other family members disowned me.  We were told by teachers that it wouldn't last. There is something about rebelling that creates an excitement. It made me feel alive and strong. My adrenaline would rush when I would go to see him. 

I studied him. I felt like a sponge and would long to learn more about him. I sought to please him and to become the woman he wanted to marry. I felt it was my duty to know more about him then he knew at times. 

Over the years we have learned how to have a love that is filled with godly love and respect. We have become so comfortable with each other that we barely speak. I feel like an old married couple. I am not sure if it is possible. I am not the same person as I was then. I used to be a wild, independent, and self indulgent girl. I am proud of who I have become.  I still feel madly in love with him, but at times I miss the spark. The fire and desire. 

Is it possible to have intimacy and fire? Do you ever miss the way things used to be?