Showing posts with label self-image. Show all posts
Showing posts with label self-image. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 4, 2012


As I walk through the hallway something catches my eye. I step back to see what it is. The reflection in the mirror is one that I find some familiarity in but do not recognize as my own. The image looking back at me brings tears to my eyes. Who is this? When did I become this? 

What Others See
What I see
I know that I am overweight, but why is my view so distorted? Why is what I see not what is actually there? I feel like I am in a funhouse. When speaking to a friend, I realized how common this is. I think it is just more of the devil's lies. How can I expect anyone else to love me and see me as I am if I am not able to? I find that the only way to combat the lies is with truth.

The truth: 
1. I don't think that other women that are overweight are ugly. Why am I more harsh on myself? There should be some accountability but I can not have unrealistic and unfair expectations. 

2. It is a distortion. A lie. I am overweight but I am not what I see in the mirror. 

3. My outward appearance should not matter. God expects and wants me to have inner beauty. 

4. I am a child of God. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 

5. I don't have to be perfect. I have been given grace. I need to be self-controlled but I am not expected to be perfect. 

6. Only the word of God is sharp enough to separate mind from spirit. I need to keep in the word and I need to hold on to scriptures that uplift. 

While I need to work on loving myself, I also need to work on my weight. I need to work on it for my health, I need to work on it for self-control, and I need to work on it to be an example to my children. I am going to try to do the WW diet again. I want to succeed this time. I need to stop being too lazy to work the system. Sadly, I don't have any money to join a program, so a couple of friends and I will hold each other accountable. I am trying to make the most on the budget I have. I put some tips and a review on a blog about it. 

Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

1 Peter 3:3-4 "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight."

2 Corinthians 12:9 "But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me."

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

Saturday, June 16, 2012

My struggle with self image...

When I look into the mirror I don't recognize myself. I see this person who has glimpses of me but at the same time is not in the same body as I remember. At some points I try to avoid them, for fear of breaking down in tears. As distorted as it is, I don't imagine myself as a fat person. I feel trapped in my body. 

I am an emotional eater. I am sitting here filled with anxiety over what I am about to post, and trying to resist the large bag of  Cheetos that is calling to me. Though I know it is wrong, I am one of those people who eat to numb the pain. 

When I was speaking to a friend of mine, the other day, we were discussing anticipatory anxiety (where you become anxious at the thought of whatever might cause anxiety. One of my counselors told me that the best way to face it is head on. 

So here I go.... (heart beat races... breathing becomes rapid... sweat begins to accumulate on forehead.)

I had seen a news article on a very different blog. The Belly Project is where they are encouraging "real women", as they call them, to post a picture of their bellies. Under the picture they state the age and  any pregnancies, surgeries, or other things that make your belly what it is today. 

27 Yrs old & 2 Pregnancies (10 months post labor)

The truth:

I am beautiful from inside out. 
I am not alone. Many women have issues with their self-image.
I am wonderfully made but a great creator.
My belly housed my beautiful daughters. 
My mind can be deceptive and distort things even more. 

Proverb 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image, 
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them."

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

How do you feel about your body? What do you think about the women from the Belly Project?