Showing posts with label godly. Show all posts
Showing posts with label godly. Show all posts

Friday, June 1, 2012

30 Day Blog Challenge: Day 4

List 5 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.

1. Lose the weight now... You may think that you are obese but you are only slightly overweight. It would be a lot easier to lose the weight now then to try to when you are obese. 

2. The fibromyalgia pain is not going to go away... Don't feel defeated, but also don't let the pain stop you from doing thing. I know you want it to just mysteriously go away but it wont. It may sound weird but you will grow to appreciate it when you see that it pulls you closer to God and creates character. 

3. Be more active in school activities... I know you think it is cool to be one of the "weird" ones and to rebel against the system but you will regret not doing any activities with your free time. 

4. You are not stupid... The reason you have are having problems reading is not because you are stupid. Your reading level is definitely not where it should be, with help at Sylvan, things with be so much better. Don't wait to tell the parents and to get help.

5. Spend time with your brothers.... I know that you must be thinking "Whhaaatttt?", but trust me. In a few years you wont really see either of them except on holidays. One will be starting a family and be very busy, and the other will isolate himself from the family. You are going to miss them and maybe by forming a better relationship with them now you can keep the connection. 

Even though I may say all of this to myself, I know that 16 yr old be was hard-headed. I didn't really listen to anyone. Though I would recognize my own face, I would not recognize anything else about myself. I will become, what was at the time, my own worst fear. I became my mother... lol

Part of me wants to warn myself about friends that will deeply betray me, but I even though they caused me pain I would not give up the time I had with them. It was a good time. 

There are lots of struggles after I was sixteen (teen pregnancy, manic depression, shaky marriage, ect.), but I wouldn't tell myself about them because it would just make the younger version of me anxious, and because God uses it to build my character. Those things also are what brought me to making Jesus the Lord of my life. Prior to my struggles He was just Savior. 

Matthew 11:29 "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."

Romans 5:2-5 "Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us."

What would you tell your 16yr old self? Would you take back anything? 

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Feels Soo Good to be Bad.

Why does it feel so good to be bad and yet so blah to be good? 

I was remembering the feelings I had when I was first dating and engaged to my now hubby. There was such a spark, such an excitement, and such a pure magnetism. 

We had a whirlwind romance. We were engaged after just twelve days of dating. When I met him I wanted to spend every waking moment talking to him and kissing him. I could feel my heart flutter and my cheeks become warm from the blood rushing to them. When he looked at me I felt like the sexiest woman alive. Just a glance would make me smile ear to ear. 

Our love was a rebellious love. My parents thought that I had fallen too fast and too soon. Other family members disowned me.  We were told by teachers that it wouldn't last. There is something about rebelling that creates an excitement. It made me feel alive and strong. My adrenaline would rush when I would go to see him. 

I studied him. I felt like a sponge and would long to learn more about him. I sought to please him and to become the woman he wanted to marry. I felt it was my duty to know more about him then he knew at times. 

Over the years we have learned how to have a love that is filled with godly love and respect. We have become so comfortable with each other that we barely speak. I feel like an old married couple. I am not sure if it is possible. I am not the same person as I was then. I used to be a wild, independent, and self indulgent girl. I am proud of who I have become.  I still feel madly in love with him, but at times I miss the spark. The fire and desire. 

Is it possible to have intimacy and fire? Do you ever miss the way things used to be?