Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friendship. Show all posts

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Torn

Amy had two best friends. She was extremely close to both of her friends and she wouldn't dare to choose one over the other. Both of her friends were selected to represent their school in a statewide spelling bee. She helped both of her friends to study and to practice. She encouraged both friends to continue working hard. As they competed against the other schools they were successful at taking down the competition. One by one, the other schools were knocked out of the running until only Amy's two friends stood standing. Amy was so excited for her friends until suddenly a knot grew in her stomach at the realization that her friends were competing against each other. The next day as she was sitting in the auditorium she watched on in a nervous silence. When one of the friends beat the other and became state wide champion she was put in an uncomfortable position. How could she be a good friend to both girls at the same time? She had to  find a way to celebrate one of her friend's achievement and still mourn for her other friend's loss.

Recently, I have begun to feel like Amy. I want so bad to be a good friend and yet I don't know how to. What I do know is that I cannot just hide from my friends in hopes of not causing any issues. I know that there has to be some way to balance two friendships with tension between the others.All I can do is to love each individual. 

Monday, June 11, 2012

Dedicated to Friendship

As I sit at my keyboard my eyes well up with tears. What once were tears of grief and sorrow are now tears of joy. I feel like God is wrapping me in His arms. It is the first time in a while that I feel like I can breathe again.  I made it through. God helped me through. 


Several months ago, I had lost a very dear friend to me. We had to cut communication because it was not a healthy situation to be in. It was completely unexpected and shook my world. I prayed that God would show His glory through the situation, but wasn't sure what that would look like. It seemed like a few months ago many people in my life weren't where God wanted them to be. 


Through this all God taught me what it means to be a true friend. When I was a child I thought a friend was just someone that you play with. It was a person that was easily replaceable. Through this situation I have not only learned who my friends are but how to be a friend. 


I had many friends step up and show me love and support. I had friends offer to visit me and spend time with me. I also had so many friends offer to pray for me. I am so thankful for my support system. 


When I was going through all this I would still long to connect with my old friend. I found myself trying to check in on her from time to time. These are the things God taught me:


1. Being a friend doesn't mean not having boundaries. We all need to know what we can handle and we need to communicate it with others. If you don't communicate your needs and expectations it can turn in to anger and bitterness, which is not good for either person. 


2. Being a friend means wanting the best for them even when it hurts. Sometimes when someone hurts you it can be difficult to see them happy, but a true friend wants the best for the other person. 


3. Pray... If you want to continue to be a true friend with someone but have no communication with them, for whatever reason, pray for them. Prayer is a powerful thing that can heal your heart and attitude towards the person, while connecting you to God. 


4. Forgive...  forgiveness can free you from the bondage of anger. It can allow you to see God's amazing love and grace for us. 


5. Stay close to God... God is the perfect example of friendship. He is love. 


I have been so blessed to begin reconnecting with my friend.... I love "Whatever You're Doing" by Sanctus Real... 


"It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
All I can do is surrender

[Chorus]
Whatever you're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Revaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow your will
or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is you want from me
I give everything I surrender..." 

God took the situation and has completely transformed the lives of both those involved and those who are on the outside of it. God is beginning to rebuild the relationship between my friend and I. I don't regret anything in my life and this is definitely one of those situations. I truly believe that, in time, we will be able to rebuild a stronger relationship than we had before. I don't think anything can separate us. God has helped me grow so much in just the last couple months. He has claimed victory over the situation and will continue to get victory and glory. 


"Friends are friends forever if the Lord's the Lord of them." The best friendships and the only ones that can last the things of this world are those that have a firm foundation on God. 



Proverbs 18:24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
    but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Proverbs 17:17 A friend loves at all times,
    and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Proverbs 27:17 As iron sharpens iron,
    so one person sharpens another.

John 15:12-16 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.  You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 

“‘Cause I’m never gonna walk away
If the wall comes down someday
All alone and you feel afraid
Be there when you call my name
You can always depend on me
I believe until forever ends
I will be your friend. “ – Amy Grant , I Will Be Your Friend

“And friends are friends forever
If the Lord’s the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
‘Cause the welcome will not end
Though it’s hard to let you go
In the Father’s hands we know
That a lifetime’s not too long to live as friends.” – Michael W. Smith, Friends

“Jesus, friend of sinners, the one who's writing in the sand
Made the righteous turn away and the stones fall from their hands
Help us to remember we are all the least of these
Let the memory of Your mercy bring Your people to their knees
Nobody knows what we're for only what we're against when we judge the wounded
What if we put down our signs crossed over the lines and loved like You did” – Casting Crowns, Jesus, Friend of Sinners

“What a friend we have in Jesus,     
all our sins and griefs to bear!     
What a privilege to carry     
everything to God in prayer! 
O what peace we often forfeit,       
O what needless pain we bear,        
all because we do not carry   
everything to God in prayer.”- Hymn, What a Friend We Have in Jesus

“Who am I that You are mindful of me
That You hear me when I call
Is it true that You are thinking of me
How You love me it's amazing” – Israel, Friend of God

What is friendship to you? Who does God want you to show love and friendship to? Who is your friend? 

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Rehabilitation Exercises

Within days of having had open heart surgery, patients are encouraged to walk around the hospital as a form of exercise. Why does the heart need exercise so soon? Is it all the way healed already? 

The reason I bring this up is because I am learning that there is not much difference between the way you treat a physical injury and an emotional one. Both can take sometime to heal. Both may need intervention from someone trained in the relating field. And both can affect your everyday activities. I find myself asking, "how long do I heal before I begin to exercise love and acceptance again? Am I ready?" 

The heart needs to exercise soon after an injury for a few reasons. It helps the doctors see if the heart is working correctly after the surgery. It is important to have a blood flow to the area to increase the speed of healing. It is also important to make sure the body doesn't atrophy.  The heart is not healed all the way, but slowly getting into a exercise program that is monitored by a doctor can ensure a faster healing.

When someone becomes emotionally wounded it is very natural for them to take some time to heal. Unfortunately, they can become comfort with their isolation and actually end up slowing down their healing. Their emotional connection can atrophy and they can be left not knowing how to trust and grow in other areas of their life. 

So in knowing if it is too soon to be rehabilitating my emotional wounds, I need to ask myself a few questions.
1. Would the doctor say it was safe? The doctor looks to see if there is any risk of immediate harm and if my heart could handle it. My answer: In this case I am in no risk of harm, there might be some difficulty getting back to what seemed normal and natural but it will come with time. Yes, my heart can handle it. 

2. Do I have realistic expectations about my recovery? I think my expectations are pretty realistic but I need to make sure I don't push myself to recover too quickly. 

3. How will I monitor and know when I can increase the rehabilitation? I will use scripture, the wisdom of the Holy Spirit, and my comfort level. Doctors often tell you to listen to your body, if you think you are over doing it don't push yourself too much. 

It is time for me to open up my heart again and begin a new level of healing. I am cautiously excited at what God can and will do. 

Proverbs 3:5-6 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
    in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight."


Psalm 147:3  "He heals the brokenhearted 
    and binds up their wounds."

1 Corinthians 13:7 "It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Matthew 5:48 "Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."