I am constantly trying to improve myself. I have so many areas of my life that I am proud of and so many that I feel like I could be doing so much more. When something hinders my spiritual life I really want to change it. I like expressing my concerns but also like using scripture to encourage me in my walk with God.
I know that I usually end my letters with a note to you, but today I wanted to start with your letter because it is all I can think about. You are just so cool. I am always in awe of just how great and loving you are. Thank you. Thank you for blessing me with an amazing husband. Thank you for blessing me with two beautiful loving daughters. Thank you for this beautiful day. Thank you for answering my prayers little and big. Thank you for always comforting me and not letting me stay lost in my little world of stress and self-pity. Thank you for opening my eyes to all that you have done, are doing, and are about to do. Thank you for giving me an avenue that I can communicate my thoughts and feelings. Thank you for all the provisions you have made for me. Mostly, thank you for not giving up on me. There were so many times that I give up on myself and yet you were always right beside me.
I think it is adorable that you are so loving towards other babies. You are only one and yet you treat them like they are delicate. For example, today in the store you saw another one year old and you were talking to her. You gave her a hug and you accidentally made her fall. You were so concerned about her and tried to make her feel better. You are a very sweet baby girl.
Playing with paint in the tub
Where are you hearing all these songs from? When your father was going through a music list with all new songs that he had never heard you sang the lyrics to each song.. They are pop songs and all I let you listen to is worship music. We don't have cable and you are home schooled. So for the life of me I can not figure our how you know all of the songs. None of them were inappropriate, but still... I think I know the perfect word for my feeling.. I was baffled.
Abbie got more paint on her sister than on the tub or herself
I love you. You are so great. Thank you for being my other half.
Dear New Work Shoes,
Please don't hurt my feet tomorrow. You seemed comfortable when I bought you but the true test will be tomorrow after work.
Please remember to bring the Imodium and the Tums to tomorrow nights Chili Night... really don't want a repeat of last year.
You have no idea how much it means to me that you take the time to read what I have written. It is so amazing and I am so thankful. I have the most supportive friends and readers. I love you all so very much.
Dear November Friday,
This was awesome. I can't believe that in the midwest there is a high of 70 degrees. This is perfect for getting much needed stuff done before the cold hits. I already cleaned out the car and took the girls to the park.
The view from my front door... Sun is bright and warm :)
Dear Friday, Where did you come from? I guess it must have been Halloween that threw me off. Although it doesn't feel like a weekend... I am sure glad that you are here. Dear Manager Who is Interviewing Me At Noon, You make me nervous. I get that anxious and inadequate feeling when thinking about how the interview will go. I don't know why I am nervous. I am more than qualified and if I don't get the job I would honestly be ok with that. So, today I have decided to not allow you to scare me. The God in me is bigger than the job there, I will have to trust Him to provide. Dear Girls, I will miss you this weekend. I don't know how long it has been since I have been child free for a whole weekend... Anyway, I love you both and will be missing you. BTW... I really don't mind if you get sugar highs at Grandma's house, so feel free to take all your candy with you... better her than me, better her than me.
Dear Ibuprofen, Please work. Dear Kitchen, Today is going to be a really crazy day for me, so if you would like, please clean yourself today. Seriously, if were to become a magic self cleaning kitchen today is the best day. Dear Halloween Candy, Stop Calling My Name!!! I have been trying so hard to be healthier and you just sit there mocking me. You suck. Dear Hubby, I am so excited about the marriage retreat this weekend. I love you so much. I am hoping that it doesn't start any fights and that we can just relax and bask in the love we have for each other. BTW... this is a perfect opportunity to earn those extra much needed brownie points... so, this is the time to act like one of those guys on chick flicks and say all the cheesy lines to me. Dear God, You are so awesome. Thank you so much for all you have done for us. Thank you for opening the doors that need to be opened and for helping us walk through them. Thank you for being bigger than the things that scare us. Thank you for loving me. Please help me learn to be a better wife this weekend and please keep the girls safe.
Dear Friday, Thank you for bringing the Fall weather with you. Thank you for bringing pay day with you. Thank you for bringing my hubby with you. Dear Minty Gum, Thank you for keeping me from cramming handfuls of chips and popcorn in my mouth. You have saved me from so many calories and on top of that you make my breath minty fresh. I think I will keep you close by for a while. Dear School Year, I am so glad that we have finished first quarter and I still have my sanity... well at least most of it. Dear Girls, Thank you for being so well behaved and sweet. You are the best daughters in the world... not to mention the cutest... I might be a little biased though. :)
Dear Hubby, I have missed you so much when you work nights, but I am glad that we get to have a date tomorrow and next week. Also, thank you for knowing me so well... and for watching the girls for me tonight. Dear Erika, I am so excited to go to see Les Miserables with you tonight. I am super excited. I am also so glad to finally spend some quality time with you. Dear God, Thank you for answering prayers and for always listening to them. Thank you for helping me through another week. Dear Halloween, I've got my eye on you... I know you will tempt me with your delicious treats and you scary movies but I will try to have self control... seeing as to how I need to lose weight and am a scardy cat.
Dear Friday, Today feels like a lazy day. I can't believe you are already here and with you, you bring the end of August. Dear Hubby, I am so thankful that you are stepping up and getting a second job. I will miss the time we get together and fear that we will be passing ships in the night. I love you. Dear Financial Struggles, I don't think that you will ever go away, but at least you could back off a little bit. I am trying to give you to God but often find myself picking you back up, along with the anxiety you bring. Dear Abbie, We found out so much about you health that we didn't know, but don't let it cause you fear. God is in control. He made your body and He will protect it. I am so proud of how much you have been learning. I also love spending so much time with you and teaching you. Dear Elizabeth, Thank you for sleeping through the night last night. You have been so needy and jealous of your big sister but it will be ok. I love you both the same but in such different ways. I love that you are beginning to talk more. Dear Hurricanes, While I am excited that you bring rain all the way up to the Midwest, I am asking you to take it easy on all the cities you pass. Don't cause destruction and chaos. Dear Dishwasher, You are so awesome. I am so glad that I have you. Dear Church Family, I have felt so blessed by all of you. I have grown so much and have felt your love, support, and prayers. I feel so lucky to be able to worship and grow with all of you. Dear God, I believe. Help me with my unbelief. Lord, stretch me and help me to grow. Thank you for all you have done and are doing. I would be at a complete loss if it weren't for you. You are so good.
I am so glad to see you again. Tomorrow is our anniversary. Today is also payday and you know I love that.
Dear Pay Check,
Please be enough to cover most of the bills. At least the important ones like internet.. I don't know how long I can survive without the ability to blog.
Dear Ion Television,
Thank you for playing so many of the shows I love. Especially the way you play multiple shows in a row.
Dear Criminal Minds,
I think you are becoming one of my new "go to" shows. I am very confused by the obvious sexual harassment. I guess it isn't considered sexual harassment when it is Shemar Moore doing it.
Need I say more?
I am so tired of you refusing to sleep and crying all night.
This week has been amazing. I am glad you are here and feel like time will go much faster.
I am so proud of you. You have done amazing at school this week. I had so much fun homeschooling. I don't know why I was so nervous. You are an amazing big sister. I love watching you cuddle with Elizabeth. She is so lucky to have you.
Wow... all I can say is thank you. It has been so much nicer outside. It gets warm but I can't complain about it. I was told that we were done with the triple digits.
Dear Sonlight Curriculum,
You are amazing. It is so complete and well organized. I am also glad that you discuss God in each subject.
I told you I would take care of you. I have kept you in order for a couple weeks now. I still need to attack the basement but still I am so proud to show you off now.
I think it is so sweet that you are starting to say "Thank you" and "Bless you" to me. You have been learning so much.
Happy Birthday. I know this is a few days short but I love you so much. I can't believe that in a week we would have been married for eight years. I am hoping that this is the real start to an amazing lifelong friendship and love.
You are so good. Thank you for all you have done. Thank you for molding us into the people you knw owe can be.
Dear Summer, While I enjoyed the time, I am so glad that you are over. The faster you left the sooner we can get back to my favorite weather, anything not hot. Thank you for going quickly.
Dear Jenaye and David, I had so much fun watching you guys this summer. You are both so well behaved. I feel like I have adopted another daughter and son. I hope that we get to spend more time together. I am so proud of you both and know that you will do great in school this year. Dear House, I told you I would work on you. Don't you feel so much better now that you are nice and clean? I know that I will have to keep up the cleaning but I am up for the task.
Dear Abbie, I am so excited about starting homeschool on Monday. I know that you can focus and work and will learn so much. I am excited about all the time we get to spend together. I love you. Dear Eb, How was your first week as a one year old? I hope you enjoy your party tomorrow. As for these little fits, you can stop them. Dear Possible Future Child, We don't know if and when you will be here. We don't know if you will even exist. But if you do we already love you, and the thought of you. Dear Paycheck, Please be enough to cover all the bills and maybe a little extra to cover the cost of some food for the party and for next week. Dear self, Please find the motivation to go and exercise. Dear Hubby, This was a good week. Thank you for all the encouragement. I have enjoyed our nightly devotions. I know that Abbie loved her time with you watching the Olympics. Dear Boy Meets World, You are as entertaining as you were as a child. tee her... So funny. The funniest thing is that I am more focused on the parents' story lines than the kids... times have changed.
Dear God, You are awesome. Thank you so much for all the details you put into creating us and everything around us. Thank you for sending Jesus for us. Dear Readers, I had to add something hilarious. My husband shared this commercial with me the other day and it was HILARIOUS!!! I am allergic to tomatoes and yet this commercial makes me want to buy a bunch of Ragu sauce. Enjoy and thank you for reading my blog.
I am so glad you are here again. When I see you, I feel like I have seen an old friend. I can let my hair down and relax. I can breath again and just enjoy the day. At the same time I realize our time together will not last forever. I have missed you. Sadly next time we see each other will be the end of summer. Today is a big day for us.
Dear Elizabeth, Happy Birthday baby girl. I love you so much. One year ago today we got to meet you face to face. I am so proud of how much you are learning and how obedient you are becoming. Your personality is shining through. You are loving and yet so independent. I know that you think that you are five years old just because you have an amazing seven year old sister. I hope we can have a great day today. I love you so so much.
Dear Abbie, I love you. I am so proud of what a wonderful big sister you are and have become. You are the best helper in the entire world. You help me with so much around the house. You are so great at protecting your baby sister. You are doing a great job at teaching her to love and care for others. I love you. Dear Hubby,
Wow, how fast did that year go? So much has changed in the last year. You have grown so much as a father. I can see so many changes from the way you are now with
the girls, compared to when Abbie was this age. I am so thankful that you are actively involved. I know that you are a manly man, but I love the gushy loving man you become when sitting with your girls and watching a girly tv show. They know you love them and they are so lucky. Thank you. I love you.
Dear Biological Clock,
Must you tick so loudly? I have two beautiful girls and yet I can hear your alarm going off, trying to tell me it is time for the next one. We can take the hint. So now that the youngest is already a year old we think it is time to start trying for that third... but please be nice and give us a boy. Third times a charm, right?
Dear Chocolate Chip Cookies,
Thank you for not calling my name too loudly. You are so delicious and perfect. Two cookies in two days is doing pretty well.
Dear Flylady and group,
Thank you so much for all of your advice and support. The house is slowly becoming the organized, clean, peaceful home of my dreams. I love the decorations that have held the space of the old clutter. I have been tackling one room at a time and am keeping up on the others throughout the day. I feel like I have accomplished so much more.
Thank you so much for all the blessings. Thank you for holding me together over the last year. Thank you for protecting my family. I am so excited to see what you will do in the next year. Please help me to grow closer to you and to become the woman you want me to be.
Distant... so distant.
Trapped in my own head.
Isolated... so isolated.
Laying alone in my bed.
I am so sorry. I don't know what is going on. I feel so disconnected. So overwhelmed by the day to day of life. Thank you so much for trying to make me happy. How sweet of you to run out just to get me a tea. I don't like feeling like this and hope to be back on my game soon. I just constantly feel exhausted. I wish I could stay in bed for a few days, but I know the world won't stop just because I did. I love you so much and am so thankful for you.
Baby, my poor baby. I wish I could take the pain of your teething away. I wish I could make you feel more comfortable. I know that you are trying to communicate as best as you can. I am sorry I can't just hold you while you scream. Please, get some rest and be a strong girl. Please, give mommy a break from the constant crying.
I am sorry I have been so distracted. I have not forgotten about you. Everyone is demanding so much of me and I am so thankful that you are so helpful. I am sorry that I get aggravated so much more easily lately. I love you.
Please go quickly. Please provide rain and cooling.
Please get plenty of rest this weekend. Please, feel rejuvenated for next week.
I won't stop praising... Try as you might I will not give you what you want. I will only lean more into God. I hate you. I hate that your schemes distract me from the ones I love.
Please protect me and my family. Help me to be bound even closer to you. Give me the spirit of love, patience, and peace with my family and household. Pull me from this dark cloud and show me your grace. Thank you for being so awesome and for loving me so much.
Thank you for coming so quickly... please end just as quickly.
Dear New A/C Unit,
You had me at hello. I love you, especially that you are the quiet strong type.
Dear Spin Class,
You are a literal pain in my ... booty. It is still hurting which makes me fear going back again, but I will.
So I know I tell you each week that you will be cleaned and organized but please don't be mad... we do now have three rooms completed. I will work on you more this week.
Thank you for not giving in yesterday when I pushed you to your limits. You have done so well at the gym and with the diet. I know you can make it just one more week.. We will take it a week at a time.
I love you. Thank you for putting up with me. Don't take this note as weakness, I will still kick your booty at this weight loss contest... your booty will hurt so bad you would have thought that you took the spin class.
Really? You have to be so independent that you refuse to use a sippy cup? You are only 11months old. Stop growing up so fast. I love you.
You are the best big sister in the whole world. I am so proud to have you as my daughter. Plus thank you for saying that I looked like I lost weight. Next time you should keep it at that and not continue on to say that I look like I lost 1000 pounds... I didn't weigh that much before I started this. I love you.
Dear Melatonin and Pandora,
Thank you for helping me sleep. I love using both of you to help me unwind and to get better rest.
I've got my eye on you. I know your schemes and I won't let you near my family. My God will kick your booty.
Sorry for all the references to booties. Thank you for reading my blog. :)
Thank you for being my strength in my weakness. Thank you for loving me just as I am today and for who you will form me to be tomorrow. Thank you for giving me wisdom of what to say to comfort my friends and for reminding me of it later. Please help all those who are experience losses, whether it is a loss of a friendship, a relationship, or (as our Choir leader has) a loss of a parent.
Dear body, Please don't hate me. I know that while I sleep you may decide that I was mean to you by forcing you to do a sudden workout. It was all worth it, trust me.
Dear house, The sorting and cleaning is coming along quite well, but it seems like the mess stacks up when I am not looking. I plan to focus on you a little more over the weekend.
Dear heat, What did I tell you last week? I believe I had already warned you that you need to stop being so dangerously high.
Dear hubby, I don't know why I have been a little distant this week. I just feel so tired all the time. Please don't feel that this is your fault. I love you as the man you are now, and the man God will bring you to be. Thank you for loving me as the woman I am now and the one I long to be.
Dear Eb, I really don't like this, "I know how to take off my diaper, so I will be a nudist," attitude. I know that it is hot out but you still need to have something covering your but.
Dear Abbie, Do you remember what I used to sing to you?
Well Abbie, you are still my sunshine. Even when we bump heads or disagree. Even when you get in trouble, I love you. I think you you are a sweet and loving girl. I only expect so much of you because I know how smart and able you are. Please, don't ever think for one moment that I could love you any less.
Dear VBS, I have enjoyed spending the week with you. I love all the kids I had a chance to teach and loved the cool crafts I had a chance to create. I am also so glad that you are finished. I am exhausted and need another 51 weeks off until I see you again.
Dear Daughters, Mommy loves you so so much. I really need you both to sleep in tomorrow morning. I would prefer that you all sleep in till noon but I will accept ten or eleven in the morning. I am so lucky to have you girls.
Dear Hubby, Please don't wake me when you come home. You will be the most awesome hubby in the world if you would sleep on the couch and take care of the baby in the morning.
Dear Homeschooling project, I will read over your curriculum more tomorrow. I also plan to clean out a room in the basement and set up the classroom.
Dear Money, You aren't very nice to me. You aren't there when I need or want you and you are always burning holes in my pockets.
Dear Heat, I hate you. It is supposed to be called "Global Warming," not "Global Hot as Hell." Please fix this.
Dear Friends, I love you. You all have blessed my life so much. From those of you who have comforted me in my hardest times, those who support and encourage me, to those who take the time to read my blog.
Dear Y&R (Young and Restless), Thank you so much for actually finishing a story line. Today I found so much closure. It was a great episode and I am glad that two characters I hate are gone.
Dear A/C Unit, They are planning on coming over next week to take you away and replace you. Thank you so much for this last spirt of coolness in this heat. I know that you want to die and turn off but thank you for staying with us for just a little longer.
Dear Hubby, Thank you for not complaining too much about me trying to freeze you. I know you like heat but just a little longer.
Dear Hubby, Congratulations on your interview. I hope that God opens the doors that will lead you to your future career.
Dear Friend, Thank you for meeting with me to catch up and to talk about homeschooling. I have really missed our conversations.
Dear Children, Please help me by being peaceful today. I have been so blessed to spend time with you all and am excited about our day tomorrow.
Dear A/C, You still suck. That's not all, this time. What really sucks is you pretending to work then changing your mind.
Dear My Future Self, Whatever is going on when you read this... God is good. God is always good. His grace is sufficient.
Dear House, Please don't be mad when you are still a mess tomorrow afternoon... it takes a little time to get in the habit of organizing.
Dear devil, FU** YOU!!!
Dear God, Please protect the hearts and spirits of my family. The devil is scheming and I can see them beginning to break down. Thank you for loving me when I was unloveable. Forgiving me when I was unforgivable, and consoling me when I am inconsolable.