Showing posts with label angry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label angry. Show all posts

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Rescue Me

Have you ever had a moment where everything seemed to come crashing down around you? Where frustration turned into tears of distraught and no matter how hard you try to pull yourself out of that bad place you were stuck feeling stranded and alone? 

Most of the time I would consider myself pretty easy going. So many things happen all the time that even though they might bother me I am able to just keep going. Most of the time I am Dory... I just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. What do we do? We swim, swim. 

But occasionally I find myself in a place where I can't swim anymore and I just need rescued. 

Last Tuesday, I had one of those moments. Let me set the scene for you. 
I had been battling a case of bronchitis for a week already and began to get worse. I hadn't been sleeping well due to being sick and due to the littlest one waking up every night at 1am and staying up for three to four hours. Both of my poor little girls were sick too. This day also seemed to be a more hormonal and emotional day to begin with, thanks to the pregnancy hormones. Even with all this I was doing alright. For some reason we thought that it was a good idea to switch the bedrooms and build the girls bunk beds at 7pm at night, when the house was already a wreck from everyone being sick and nothing being taken care of. All of the beds got taken down, halls were filled with dressers and stuff, there was no access into many rooms, and both girls were high energy and needy. We got the bottom part of the bunk finished when it was time for the hubby to leave for work. Even at that point I was alright, I was swimming right along. Then IT happened. I could not get a screw into the bed. I tried over and over and it wouldn't go. That screw threw me into a dark place. That moment the frustration overwhelmed me and I suddenly noticed all the things that I had been swimming past. I noticed how sick I was. I noticed how tired I was. I noticed that the girls were driving me crazy and weren't listening. I noticed that I had no place for them to sleep that night. I noticed that I was all alone building something that seemed impossible. I began to break down. I was angry that I was left with the problem. I was sad that I wasn't being a patient mom. I was frustrated that the stupid screw just wouldn't go in. I was stranded and alone with no hope. I needed to be rescued. 

I called my mom and dad to see if the girls and I could crash at their house but there was no answer. I was at a complete loss of what to do. Then my phone rang. It was my daddy. I tried to tell him what was wrong and why I was calling but I struggled to force out the words while holding back tears. The lump in my throat grew and it became harder to breath. Then with these few simple words relief flushed over me, "I'll be right there." I was being rescued. Like a true knight in shining armor... my dad didn't only take me away from the problem.. he fixed it. He stayed there patiently working with me to build the beds. While he built the beds, he played with the girls and gave them the attention that I didn't have in me. He made the huge unconquerable mountain fun. It turns out the company didn't even give us all the right pieces that we needed but with him there it didn't seem to matter. He helped get a place for the girls to lay their heads and gave me peace of mind. Even though the beds couldn't be made into bunk beds yet, we got them all set up and he even stayed to finish the ladder so we wouldn't have to worry about it when we did get the pieces in. He rescued me and in such a loving and patient way. I felt like that little girl that ran into her daddy's arms to seek comfort. 


We are called to be examples to our children of God's love for us. What a great example my dad was for me. I know that when I am lost God seeks me out with open arms, comforts me, and fights for me when I am not strong enough to fight. 

Isaiah 40:28-31 
"Do you not know?
    Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
    and his understanding no one can fathom.
29 He gives strength to the weary
    and increases the power of the weak.
30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
    and young men stumble and fall;
31 but those who hope in the Lord
    will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
    they will run and not grow weary,
    they will walk and not be faint."

Planetshakers -Rescue Me

When im alone the world is such a different place
Sometimes its hard to keep the smile upon my face
It seems like I try so hard and still I let you down
Its taken so long but now theres one thing that Ive found

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me

Just when I think that Ive got it figured out
You open my eyes and let me see that theres no doubt
But you've got it all within the power of your hand
It seems like the more I know the less I understand

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me
When all my strength has turned to fear
When I wonder if you're near
When I dont know how to break free
You're always there to rescue me

I wonder if Ill make it through this darkest night
I need to know your strength in me gonna win this fight
Im reaching out wont you take my hand show me to the light
I know you're by my side

It seems like I try so hard and still I let you down
Its taken so long but now theres one thing that Ive found

When everyting starts crashing down
When all I know falls to the ground
When darkness comes and I can't see
You're always there to rescue me
When all my strength has turned to fear
When I wonder if you're near
When I dont know how to break free
You're always there to rescue me
You're always there to rescue me
You're always there to rescue me
You're always there to rescue me
You're always there to rescue me

Monday, June 18, 2012

Daily Blog Challenge: Day 17 & Day 18

What is the thing you most wish you were great at?


I wish I was great at emotionally separating myself from situations when it comes to disciplining my children. I see my mom handle it with such grace, peace, love, and dignity. She is able to correct and discuss without becoming emotionally involved. She would spank us and not be angry at our actions. Maybe she was just better at hiding her frustrations, maybe we just pushed her to her breaking point, or maybe she just has this way of handling things. 




Sometimes I get angry, frustrated, tired, annoyed, and disappointed. I try to hide my feelings and handle things with grace but I know that sometime I can be transparent. 


Do you get angry or feel like you would lose your cool with your child? 


                                                                     
What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?


Wow, this one cuts deep doesn't it... If I told the most difficult thing I have ever had to forgive, it would end up hurting the person and if I purposely did that I wouldn't have really forgiven them, would I have? 


What I will say is that I was hurt by multiple people in one situation. It had rocked me to my core. What I can tell you is how I forgave. 


I had come to the end of myself. I was absolutely powerless over the situation. I had no strength in myself to fight or to flee. So, I turned it over to God. I prayed and I decided that until I knew what to do I would do as I knew Jesus would. What would Jesus do? 


If they were repentant He would forgive them. (a)
He would pray for them. (b)
He would love them in spite of their sin. (c)
He would have boundaries set.  (d)
He would turn all else to God. (e)
(matching scriptures at bottom)


So I made the conscience effort to do that. It was honestly one of the hardest things I have done on my Christian walk. I forgave them. I prayed for them. I loved them as fallen people. I made boundaries. I tried to show them love, while keeping my boundaries. I gave God control over my feelings of anger, depression, and grief. I faked it until I made it. My relationship with each person that hurt me has been healing. God has done some amazing things. He has brought freedom and victory. 


(a) Mark 11:25 "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.”


(b) Matthew 5:44-45 " But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.


(c) Ephesians 5:25 "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her"


(d) Mark 1:35 "Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed."


(e)Luke 22:42  “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.”


How are you at forgiving? Is there someone out there that you need to have more grace for? 

What a great way to show our thanks to God for the grace He gave us, by giving grace to others.