A huge fight left us in shambles. I told my husband that I wanted out. I went to find comfort in my friend. When I was with him I no longer felt alone. Through the months of talking I had fallen in love. Not into a godly love but into a love built on desperation and neediness. He kissed me and I found no strength to fight it. That night my affair went from an emotional one to a physical one. I had an affair. I committed adultery. Those are some words I never thought I would never post on the Internet. There are so many names some may call me, but none that I hadn't called myself. The guilt haunted me.
That was in 2005. That was seven years ago and God is still using it to teach me and to reach out to others. How much my life has changed since then. I am very blessed. God has shown me so much grace. God used the situation to pull me close to Him. My husband has forgiven me.
I was listening to a great song that really summed up where I am at.
Steven Curtis Chapman, "Remember Your Chains"
There's no one more thankful to sit at the table
Than the one who best remembers hunger's pain
And no heart loves greater than the one that is able
To recall the time when all it knew was the shame
The wings of forgiveness can take us to heights never seen
But the wisest ones, they will never lose sight of where they were set free
Love set them free
So remember your chains
Remember the prison that once held you
Before the love of God broke through
Remember the place you were without grace
When you see where you are now
Remember your chains
And remember your chains are gone
What is keeping you from God? How do you safe guard your heart?