Friday, August 31, 2012

Friday Letters

Dear Friday, 
Today feels like a lazy day. I can't believe you are already here and with you, you bring the end of August. 

Dear Hubby, 
I am so thankful that you are stepping up and getting a second job. I will miss the time we get together and fear that we will be passing ships in the night. I love you. 

Dear Financial Struggles, 
I don't think that you will ever go away, but at least you could back off a little bit. I am trying to give you to God but often find myself picking you back up, along with the anxiety you bring. 

Dear Abbie, 
We found out so much about you health that we didn't know, but don't let it cause you fear. God is in control. He made your body and He will protect it. I am so proud of how much you have been learning. I also love spending so much time with you and teaching you. 

Dear Elizabeth, 
Thank you for sleeping through the night last night. You have been so needy and jealous of your big sister but it will be ok. I love you both the same but in such different ways. I love that you are beginning to talk more. 

Dear Hurricanes, 
While I am excited that you bring rain all the way up to the Midwest, I am asking you to take it easy on all the cities you pass. Don't cause destruction and chaos.

Dear Dishwasher, 
You are so awesome. I am so glad that I have you. 

Dear Church Family, 
I have felt so blessed by all of you. I have grown so much and have felt your love, support, and prayers. I feel so lucky to be able to worship and grow with all of you. 

Dear God, 
I believe. Help me with my unbelief. Lord, stretch me and help me to grow. Thank you for all you have done and are doing. I would be at a complete loss if it weren't for you. You are so good.  

Living the Unfulfilled Christian Life

So many Christian's face the times when the fire in our hearts begins to die down and the overwhelming feelings of emptiness and sadness  begins to grow. We begin to drown in the mundane. As a wife and a mother, I often struggle with this. I am constantly trying to keep up with the cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, laundry, and the budget. It feels like a never ending cycle of stress and constant disappointment. The days melt together and the hours pass by slowly. I begin to feel robotic and even though there are no major things I am completing I am constantly and completely emotionally and physically drained. So often we can get distracted by everyday things such as work, family, and financial stressors. We lose a piece of the fire we once had that burned so bright for God and we sacrifice our time with God but save time for mind numbing activities, such as watching junk on television. 

I remember being first saved. I remember the feeling of being unstoppable with God on my side. I remember the excitement to tell others about Him. The need to learn more and more about God and His many attributes. I remember the feeling so thankful for all He had sacrificed for me and for loving me right where I was. It seemed like the feeling would never die. But like wind against a mountain, mundane activities can slowly wear us down. 


We don't have to live an unfulfilled life. We all have a God sized hole in our lives that can never be fulfilled by anything other than God. So why are so many Christians living an unfulfilled life, when they have God?  There are many reasons that someone might be living an unfulfilled life, the reasons I am going to address are sin, unmet expectations, fear, self pity, laziness, pride, a sense of entitlement, and the boxes we try to place God in. 

Sin can and will cause a drift between you and God. It separates us and keeps us from hearing what God is telling us to do. Choosing to live in sin slowly decays us and desensitizes us. As I watched The Godfather for the first time I was shocked at the violence and language, which all seemed to stick out substantially to me. Each time I watched it again I began to notice the violence and language less and less, because I was becoming less sensitive to it. In the same way sin can slowly seem acceptable or at least not stand out as being quite so unacceptable.  


Several years ago when I was in marriage counseling, the counselor had mentioned that the majority of times anger and sadness stem from unmet expectations. When I had become a Christian I had thought that life would be easier. I didn't think that everything would be perfect, but I in now way thought that I would be facing all the struggles that I had. I expected to no longer struggle with my flesh and sins. Another expectation that went unmet was the expectations I placed on other Christians. I expected others to be open and honest about their struggles. I expected others to be mature, loving, and non-hyprocritical.  It took a long time to learn that I need to have grace and love for my brothers and sisters in Christ. We also don't see or understand the spiritual war that is going on around us. If we do not expect to be in a war, then we will not wear our armor to protect ourselves. 

When I speak of fear I don't mean the fear of spiders or escalators, even though both can be terrifying for some. I speak of the fear of rejection if we tell others. The fear that our needs wont be provided for. The fear that we are not equipped or good enough for what God tells us to do. I have been struggling with this. I know that I am in God's will by staying home with my daughters,  but the fear of our financial situation often leads me to consider going back to work. Fear is often where my head and heart don't agree. I know that God can, will, and has been providing but I fear that we wont be able to pay the bills and will be out of some basic needs. I often think that I need to step in and do God's job. I face this also with the well being of my children. I know that God can and will care for them, yet I still have growing concern for their health. Having faith is not always an automatic thing, sometimes I have to make the choice to believe and have faith even when it is hard. Mark 9:24 Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” 

Self-pity can be like a slippery slope, once we decide to step onto it we can begin to slip further and further down and it can be difficult to get our footing. Sometimes we can confuse this with expressing our concerns to God or with venting with others, but the difference can be found in the attitude of the heart. It is acceptable for us to voice our concerns to God and to each other. God already knows our thoughts, so being honest can only open communication and soften our hearts to allow God to change us. Who am I to say that I have been persecuted, when there are people in other countries that are killed and tortured for believing in Jesus? Who am I to say that I am poor, when there are people in other countries that eat mud patties? Who am I to say that I am ill, when there are people in other countries who are dying at such young ages? God does care about all of our concerns but I should not live in self-pity and withhold the glory from God. God has been convicting me of this in regards to my home life. I often will have self-pity and make myself a martyr for all the work I do around the house. I have been praying, before I clean, that I may have a heart to serve my family and to glorify God in all I do, even in the laundry. I have found that, even though I still struggle, God does help me with my attitude and often I don't feel overwhelmed with it all. 1 Corinthians 10:31 "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God."

Laziness can lead to feeling unfulfilled. Not the laziness in regards to worldly tasks, but lazy in relationship with the Lord. We put so much effort into things that are so mundane and trivial but often the time with God is the first thing sacrificed. Often Christians will ignore God and place Him on the back burner until they need something. I have been found guilty of this myself. We can not expect to give God so little of ourselves and still receive so much of His provision. When I began going to my church, a women there said something that struck me. She said that twenty percent of the people do eighty percent of the work. I have often felt convicted of the fact that I sometimes wont make the time to read the Bible and pray during an alone time everyday but I can sit in front of the television for hours and not get anything out of the program. 

Anytime we think we know better than God, it is just bad. Pride is a hungry beast that wants more and more, it is never satisfied. If God tells us what to do and we ignore it or disobey, then we wont feel fulfilled. No more can a young child tell her parent what is best for her, than we can tell God. Proverbs 11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace,but with humility comes wisdom."

Even though we are blessed to live in a democracy that believes in giving people rights, it can also be a hindrance. We are raised with this false sense of entitlement. I have the right to have nice stuff. I have the right to have a spouse that treats me right. I have the right to hold a grudge. When we become a Christian we give our rights to God and let Him guide and lead us. We are to take up our crosses. We are to forgive others, give to the needy, place others above ourself, and become Christ-like. 

When we put God in a box, we are not able to fully see His great power. Why should the God of the universe live according to human standards? Through seeing and embracing Gods awesome power we are able to worship and glorify Him more. We are able to live a life of victory and not defeat. We don't have to live by the constrains of this world because our God is bigger than this world. John 16:33 "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

So how can we go from living the unfulfilled Christian life to a fulfilled one? First, we must be honest with ourselves and God. We must ask Him to help us with our attitudes and with the things that are playing factors into our being unfulfilled. Second, we must worship with a heart of thanksgiving. I love the expression "fake it till you make it." By writing or keeping a list of so much that we are thankful for we can refer back to it to thank God. Praise Him for who He is. Third, memorize scripture. Write the word of God onto your heart so that you may be able to call upon it when you are struggling. Forth, surround yourself with fellow believers. When your light grows dim stand close to other believer's light so that yours may become brighter. Finally, set aside the time to spend with God. Only God can fill that whole and repair the damages done through other efforts. 




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Friday, August 24, 2012

Friday Letters

Dear Friday,
I am so glad to see you again. Tomorrow is our anniversary. Today is also payday and you know I love that.

Dear Pay Check,
Please be enough to cover most of the bills. At least the important ones like internet.. I don't know how long I can survive without the ability to blog.

Dear Ion Television,
Thank you for playing so many of the shows I love. Especially the way you play multiple shows in a row.

Dear Criminal Minds,
I think you are becoming one of my new "go to" shows.  I am very confused by the obvious sexual harassment. I guess it isn't considered sexual harassment when it is Shemar Moore doing it.
Need I say more?

Dear Eb,
I am so tired of you refusing to sleep and crying all night.

Dear Hubby,
Happy Anniversary baby.

Thursday, August 23, 2012

Torn

Amy had two best friends. She was extremely close to both of her friends and she wouldn't dare to choose one over the other. Both of her friends were selected to represent their school in a statewide spelling bee. She helped both of her friends to study and to practice. She encouraged both friends to continue working hard. As they competed against the other schools they were successful at taking down the competition. One by one, the other schools were knocked out of the running until only Amy's two friends stood standing. Amy was so excited for her friends until suddenly a knot grew in her stomach at the realization that her friends were competing against each other. The next day as she was sitting in the auditorium she watched on in a nervous silence. When one of the friends beat the other and became state wide champion she was put in an uncomfortable position. How could she be a good friend to both girls at the same time? She had to  find a way to celebrate one of her friend's achievement and still mourn for her other friend's loss.

Recently, I have begun to feel like Amy. I want so bad to be a good friend and yet I don't know how to. What I do know is that I cannot just hide from my friends in hopes of not causing any issues. I know that there has to be some way to balance two friendships with tension between the others.All I can do is to love each individual. 

Friday, August 17, 2012

Friday Letters

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Dear Friday, 
This week has been amazing. I am glad you are here and feel like time will go much faster. 

Dear Abbie, 
I am so proud of you. You have done amazing at school this week. I had so much fun homeschooling. I don't know why I was so nervous. You are an amazing big sister. I love watching you cuddle with Elizabeth. She is so lucky to have you. 

Dear Weather, 
Wow... all I can say is thank you. It has been so much nicer outside. It gets warm but I can't complain about it. I was told that we were done with the triple digits. 

Dear Sonlight Curriculum, 
You are amazing. It is so complete and well organized. I am also glad that you discuss God in each subject. 

Dear House, 
I told you I would take care of you. I have kept you in order for a couple weeks now. I still need to attack the basement but still I am so proud to show you off now. 

Dear Eb, 
I think it is so sweet that you are starting to say "Thank you" and "Bless you" to me. You have been learning so much. 

Dear Hubby, 
Happy Birthday. I know this is a few days short but I love you so much. I can't believe that in a week we would have been married for eight years. I am hoping that this is the real start to an amazing lifelong friendship and love. 

Dear God, 
You are so good. Thank you for all you have done. Thank you for molding us into the people you knw owe can be. 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Changes in life

╰☆╮First let me apologize in advance... I have recently found some new emoticons that I can use on here to add a little umph to my posts. Since this is the first time finding them I might over use them a bit... I guess this is an apology and a warning. They are really cute.

╰☆╮For those who know me, I have always struggled with organizing and cleaning. When I am faced with a mess I just stand staring at it feeling overwhelmed. I have a hard time doing anything because I can't figure out where to start. When I was a child I would be sent to my room to clean and several hours later I would get in trouble for having not finished anything. The other problem I have is focus. I can get really easily distracted sometimes. As I clean I end up looking at ever paper and getting sucked into a entirely different train of thought. I feel like the dogs on the movie "UP" who get side tracked every time they see a squirrel. 


Recently, I began reading and doing the whole Flylady thing. It has made a huge difference. Not only was I able to take baby steps to having a clean and organized home, now I am actually becoming an organized person. When things are out of place, I feel the need to straighten up real quickly. My husband, who is not good at the verbal encouragement, has been telling me how much he appreciates all of my efforts at home. He has even been bragging on me to others. I am so proud of my home and what it has become. One of the best helps has been a group of mommies on cafemom.com. The entire group is a Flybabies group. We encourage each other and we post daily our cleaning plans. I have found that by posting my to do list on Facebook, I have been better at accomplishing what I set out to do. Another great help has been praying before I start to clean. I pray that God will help me with my attitude and that I will have a heart to serve my family, not an attitude of being a martyr. Then I turn on my worship music and I accomplish what I set out to do.  

╰☆╮Homeschooling has been going amazing. We have gotten so much done and are having a great time. I am in no way knocking public or private school, but I know that for Abbie she is learning so much more each day that she would at her old school. She really thrives off of the one on one attention. It has also helped with her jealousy towards her sister. I love that I am able to teach Abbie about God. One of her World history books teaches her about different countries and areas and at the end of the section it tells us some great ways to pray for them. I will be writing about it more in my blog on it.

╰☆╮Now that I have gotten control of my home I need to get back on the wagon when it comes to my body. I am cooking much more at home and have been drinking the breakfast shakes. I want to go back to the gym on a regular basis. I went last night and I need to go more often. I have not gained any weight and have actually lost a pound while being off the wagon, but I need to refocus. Maybe I will take the girls for a walk to the park tomorrow. 

╰☆╮Speaking of getting back on the wagon, I have decided to get back on the wagon with cutting coupons and planning a menu. I wanted to get together with a group of ladies and go coupon diving at the local recycle bins. One great site for finding deals and coupons would have to be couponmom.com. It is a site that lists the best deals including all the coupons one needs to save the most money.  

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Minnie Mouse cupcakes and Alvin's cake

I wanted to start by saying that this was inspired by MooCow's Desserts... It isn't a copy of what she made but I liked the idea of having a center piece and cupcakes. I am not sure how she made hers and even designed it differently but I do want to give her credit for making beautiful cakes and cupcakes. 

Minnie Mouse Center Piece and cupcakes... 
Things you need to make the Minnie mouse cake:
Rice Krispies ingredients: Bag of marshmallows, butter, rice krispies cereal,  a large pot, and a greased spoon.
Cupcake recipe: Box of cake mix, eggs, oil, water, cupcake pan, Cupcake paper, can of strawberry frosting, can of vanilla frosting. 
Design recipe: Large greased bowl, parchment paper, fondant, marshmallows, rolling pin, black food coloring paint, black food coloring, new child's paint brushes, and cherry kool-aid (or red food coloring).


I started by making the rice krispies and had a greased bowl ready to fill for the head. I also layer some out flat about an inch or two wide and used the cups to cut out ears. and I made the shape of a bow. I let them cool but would pack it tighter with my hands. (Kind of like packing a snow ball).
 I frosted all the pieces with a thin layer to help the fondant stick. 
 Follow the directions on the fondant. I bought it in the craft aisle at Walmart. You have to knead it and roll it out. There is plenty. 
Place the ears on the head and place the sheet of rolled out fondant onto the head carefully. Then smooth and make sure any extra is cut off. 
 Then I used the black food coloring paint, also found in the craft aisle of Walmart, to paint the outside of it. I didn't have any red food coloring so I used a packet of cherry kool-aid and a little bit of water in a cup to make a thick paste and painted the bow. Then decorated the bow with the black food coloring paint. 
 To make the cupcakes I painted black dots on the pink cupcakes. To make the Minnie cupcakes I just mixed the black food coloring into the vanilla icing and then iced them. I took a few large marshmallows and cut them into thin strips and placed two on each to make ears. I then painted the ears.  I took a little of the left over fondant and cut it into a large strip and then divided it into little squares and squeezed the center to make the bow shape. Finally I painted them with the Kool-aid and decorated with the black food coloring paint. 

This is the final outcome. 

Alvin's cake was a Triple chocolate cake with whipped topping, raspberries, and strawberries. 
What you need to make it: Box mix, (optional ingredients... cinnamon, vanilla, kosher salt), eggs, water, oil, large thing of whipped topping, two small containers of raspberries, and a container of strawberries. 

I suggest not making it three layers or making it four layers by cutting two round cakes in half, his cake was so big and falling over. It was so messy but delicious. 

To make you make and bake cake mix as directed. I always add a little cinnamon, vanilla, and kosher salt to the chocolate box mix because it makes it taste homemade. Let cakes cool completely. Layer a cake with cool whip, raspberries, and strawberries. Continue through the parts. Warning... the heat of the kitchen and the cakes can make the cool whip begin to melt. You might have to thow it into the fridge for a bit. 

The Thorn In My Side


As a child, I had two dreams of careers that I had wanted. The first one was to be a writer, I love the process of putting the pen to paper and letting the words flow from the tip of the pen onto the paper. I loved using my words to create an atmosphere and a mood. I loved pulling others into my world, into my head, and through the adventure of emotions. Like a roller coaster, I was able to pull others through the highs of excitement and down to the lowest darkest parts of myself. My second dream was to become a massage therapist. I began giving back massages to my father, uncles, and grandpa's. I had very strong hands, so strong that I actually bruised one of my uncles shoulders from the deep tissue massage... don't feel bad for him I had asked him to tell me if it began to hurt. In school I combined my two loves and wrote an essay about my love for massage therapy and won a scholarship. With the money I paid for classes in Reiki. 

When I was in sixth grade I began to notice that my hands would have sharp shooting pains through my shoulders combined with an achy pain between my hands. When my family would play cards, as we would do very often, I wasn't able to shuffle the cards any longer because the pain would begin to shoot. As the year progressed my hand pain would make it hard to hold a pencil and write in class. I went to years of testing. At that point I had a fear of needles and was claustrophobic and had a difficult time with all the blood tests and the MRI's. The doctors were not able to find a causes. I got moved from specialist to specialist. I got sent to a Neurologist that had me get an Electromyography done. The technician inserted needles all over my body at different points and attached the wires to the machine. I was told that I could not move or talk because it can change the results of test. As the test was going I was given shocks. The pain was unbearable. Then the tech looked at my dad and let out a little laugh and said, "Your daughter is strong, I accidentally had it turned up too hard. This would have had a adult in tears." I thought my dad was going to jump across the room and punch him. It was at that point I quit. I couldn't go through any more testing. 

The doctor said that I had symptoms but they couldn't find the cause. He gave us some long name, or it seemed long as a child, of what I had. We couldn't remember the name but think, based on how he described it, that it is fibromyalgia. It was so upsetting. The doctor decided to give me medication to see if it would help me with the pains. The doctor put me on a medication called Neurontin. After taking the medicine the first time, I woke up and was unable to move any part of my body except for my eyes. I was terrified and wanted to call to my mom but my mouth couldn't move. I lay there for a few mins with tears streaming down the sides of my face but was unable to wipe them away. Finally, I was able to scream out to my mom. The doctor explained that it is normal. The paralysis went away after what seemed like an hour. After the doctor raised the dosage I was finally finding some relief. I would still be in pain but I could at least do the things I needed to do. 

As the years continued the pain became worse and began to spread to my feet. I couldn't lay still at night and would have pain shooting through my feet into my legs. The dosage again was increased. It ends up that the dosage he had me on was more than any adult should be on, and I was just a child. I was taking 900 mg three times a day. In school, timed tests with essays were terrible. I wasn't able to write more than a couple sentences with out having pain overtake my hands. Then in high school, I had a strange fluttering in my chest, became lightheaded, passed out, and hit my head on the stereo equipment. My dad found me on the ground and they ended up taking me to the ER and then to my doctor. They made me go through EEGs, EKGs, and I had to wear a heart monitor for a period of time. They could never figure out what was wrong with me but as any new driver would hate, I was told that I couldn't drive at all for six months. 

I had to go off the medicine my senior year when I became pregnant. The doctors said that due to being on high doses of medicine, for the pain and for bipolar, when I became pregnant and for the first few months they said the baby had a 97% chance of being mentally disabled and 98% chance of being physically disabled. Thankfully, Abbie was born with no health concerns. In order to go back on the medicine my doctor wanted me to go back through all the testing. 

It is now fifteen years after the pains began. They have spread to my back, neck and hips. I have learned to live with the daily pain. There are times when I think, "I can't make it another year with this," but I just remind myself of the fifteen years I have survived. In some ways it has kept me from things I wanted to do. I have a hard time doing my daughters hair, holding them, playing games and chasing them around, writing, opening jars, and so many other things. At the same time, God has given me strength. He has provided the peace I needed. I pray that I am healed, but I am also thankful for this "thorn in my side" because it keeps me close to the Lord. I have to draw into Him. I am finally at the point where, once we have insurance, I am willing to get testing again and maybe get on a medicine to help. Until then, I will trust God to help me. This post started because today for the first time since sixth grade, I was completely without pain. My body felt like butter and I was able to sleep and relax. Even if they are momentary, I am so thankful when God gives me times of peace, whether it is physically, emotionally, or spiritually. He knows when I need rest and today he gave me rest in all of those areas. 

2 Corinthians 12:7b-10 "Therefore, in order to keep me from becoming conceited, I was given a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Friday, August 10, 2012

Friday Letters

Dear Summer,
While I enjoyed the time, I am so glad that you are over. The faster you left the sooner we can get back to my favorite weather, anything not hot.  Thank you for going quickly.

Dear Jenaye and David,
I had so much fun watching you guys this summer. You are both so well behaved. I feel like I have adopted another daughter and son. I hope that we get to spend more time together. I am so proud of you both and know that you will do great in school this year.

Dear House,
I told you I would work on you. Don't you feel so much better now that you are nice and clean? I know that I will have to keep up the cleaning but I am up for the task.

Dear Abbie,
I am so excited about starting homeschool on Monday. I know that you can focus and work and will learn so much. I am excited about all the time we get to spend together. I love you.

Dear Eb,
How was your first week as a one year old? I hope you enjoy your party tomorrow. As for these little fits, you can stop them.

Dear Possible Future Child,
We don't know if and when you will be here. We don't know if you will even exist. But if you do we already love you, and the thought of you.

Dear Paycheck,
Please be enough to cover all the bills and maybe a little extra to cover the cost of some food for the party and for next week.

Dear self,
Please find the motivation to go and exercise.

Dear Hubby,
This was a good week. Thank you for all the encouragement. I have enjoyed our nightly devotions. I know that Abbie loved her time with you watching the Olympics.

Dear Boy Meets World,
You are as entertaining as you were as a child. tee her... So funny. The funniest thing is that I am more focused on the parents' story lines than the kids... times have changed.

Dear God,
You are awesome. Thank you so much for all the details you put into creating us and everything around us. Thank you for sending Jesus for us. 

Dear Readers, 
I had to add something hilarious. My husband shared this commercial with me the other day and it was HILARIOUS!!! I am allergic to tomatoes and yet this commercial makes me want to buy a bunch of Ragu sauce. Enjoy and thank you for reading my blog. 

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Saturday, August 4, 2012

My Happy Place

I don't need to envision the warmth of the sun and the cool waves washing up from the ocean. The soft sand between my toes. No thank you... my happy place is a place of inner warmth. The cool crisp air outside with the scent of leaves. The oranges and reds of the leaves floating onto the ground from the trees. Until I have that, I will make believe by turning my home into my happy place. 








The slight crackle of the needle brushing along the Vinyl's surface. The smooth voices of the past serenade filling the room with a presence unlike modern music. Christmas songs transforming the room into a time and a place of peace and family warmth. The soft pulsing glow of the candle and the scent of a fresh evergreen tree bring back memories of childhood.





This is my happy place. 

Friday, August 3, 2012

Friday Letters- Baby Girl's Special Birthday Edition


Dear Friday, 
  I am so glad you are here again. When I see you, I feel like I have seen an old friend. I can let my hair down and relax. I can breath again and just enjoy the day. At the same time I realize our time together will not last forever. I have missed you. Sadly next time we see each other will be the end of summer. Today is a big day for us. 


Dear Elizabeth,
  Happy Birthday baby girl. I love you so much. One year ago today we got to meet you face to face. I am so proud of how much you are learning and how obedient you are becoming. Your personality is shining through. You are loving and yet so independent. I know that you think that you are five years old just because you have an amazing seven year old sister. I hope we can have a great day today. I love you so so much. 


Dear Abbie, 
  I love you. I am so proud of what a wonderful big sister you are and have become. You are the best helper in the entire world. You help me with so much around the house. You are so great at protecting your baby sister. You are doing a great job at teaching her to love and care for others. I love you.
  
Dear Hubby, 
  Wow, how fast did that year go? So much has changed in the last year. You have grown so much as a father. I can see so many changes from the way you are now with 
the girls, compared to when Abbie was this age. I am so thankful that you are actively involved. I know that you are a manly man, but I love the gushy loving man you become when sitting with your girls and watching a girly tv show. They know you love them and they are so lucky. Thank you. I love you.


Dear  Biological Clock,
  Must you tick so loudly? I have two beautiful girls and yet I can hear your alarm going off, trying to tell me it is time for the next one. We can take the hint. So now that the youngest is already a year old we think it is time to start trying for that third... but please be nice and give us a boy. Third times a charm, right?


Dear Chocolate Chip Cookies,
  Thank you for not calling my name too loudly. You are so delicious and perfect. Two cookies in two days is doing pretty well.

Dear Flylady and group,
  Thank you so much for all of your advice and support. The house is slowly becoming the organized, clean, peaceful home of my dreams. I love the decorations that have  held the space of the old clutter. I have been tackling one room at a time and am keeping up on the others throughout the day. I feel like I have accomplished so much more.


Dear God, 
  Thank you so much for all the blessings. Thank you for holding me together over the last year. Thank you for protecting my family. I am so excited to see what you will do in the next year. Please help me to grow closer to you and to become the woman you want me to be.




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Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Where to start.... FlyLady day 2

I don't think I have ever had writers block. I can usually come up with some sort of topic or idea to go off of. In marriage counseling one of our pastors gave us a writing exercise. When I heard his words I was immediately filled with joy. "Write a letter to God about your spouse. Your spouse will not read it. I will be the one reading both. Pour out your heart to God about the other person. God already knows all you are thinking and feeling so be honest." This sounded like a great exercise until he said, " I expect your letter to be more than ten pages." At that moment you could hear a pin drop, or more accurately both of our chins. Honestly, I don't think I have ten pages of stuff to write. Of course, I can rehash the past and things that have happened but even that wouldn't be honest, since I have already forgiven him for those things. When speaking to my hubby, we both freely admitted that ten pages seemed like a little much. I thought that even two pages seemed like a lot since he isn't the same man as before. I feel like I am relearning him. This is all due by Monday and it has me a little overwhelmed. I have no idea to where to start. 


On a totally different note, I have found a way to start when it comes to housework... 


One of my Flylady groups, makes lists of all of our to-do's for the day and goes through and checks them off as we go. We update and encourage each other. It has been helping out so much. My kitchen, living room, and bathroom have been staying clean and I have even begun to start major projects and teach the children their lessons. I feel so accomplished and making/having a list to go through has made a huge difference. I feel like I have accomplished so much more. I posted the last three days so you all could see how I write them out. Anything that doesn't get finished just moves to the next day. I don't beat myself up about it. I try to pick one big thing a day to work on during nap time, sadly today nap time was cut short in order to pick up the hubby.



Monday: 
  • Wake up
  • Wait for other kids to be dropped off.
  • Put load of diapers in washing machine
  • Make breakfast
  • Get kids up and ready
  • Straighten kitchen back up
  • Move stuff from washer to dryer/ Put new load in
  • Turn on Dance game for children/ or Tae Bow dvd
  • Straighten Bathroom under sink
  • Do lesson with kids. (Science, Math, Reading and Journal)
  • Strighten up Living room
  • Switch over load and put in new one.
  • Go to counseling appointment with hubby
  • Make lunch/ straighten up dishes from lunch as I go
  • Put kids down for nap
  • Fold clothes in Toyroom 
  • Work on bedroom
  • Make snack and wake up kids to eat
  • Clean up after snack
  • Fix daughters door
  • Write blog post/ possibly vlog post
  • Get dinner ready
  • Straighten up kitchen after dinner mess
  • Eat as family
  • Watch a show together. 
  • Go to bed early. 
Tuesday-
  • Wake up 
  • Help Eb brush her teeth
  • Give girls a bath
  • Comb and style Abbie's hair
  • Wait for kids to arrive
  • Throw dinner in crockpot
  • Make breakfast and clean up kitchen
  • Put load in the wash
  • Put together all diapers and put in dresser
  • Play outside with kids.
  • Morning devotion
  • Switch over loads and thow in another load of clothes
  • Start lessons Math, reading, and Switch over load and put in new one.
  • Make lunch/ straighten up dishes from lunch as I go
  • Put kids down for nap
  • Fold clothes in Toyroom , Put clothes away. 
  • Work on bedroom
  • Make snack and wake up kids to eat
  • Clean up after snack
  • Fix daughters door
  • Write blog post/ possibly blog post
Wednesday-
  • Wake up
  • Wait for kid to arrive
  • Switch over loads of laundry/ put in new load/ fold right away
  • Morning Devotion
  • Take dishes out of dishwasher and put away/ reload
  • Make breakfast/ take care of dishes after
  • Clean off Kitchen counters
  • Clean out fridge
  • Sweep/ Mop Kitchen floors
  • Clean up toy room/ vacuum floor
  • Switch over loads of laundry/ put in new load/ fold right away
  • Work on lessons- math, writing, reading, and science (planets)
  • Organize and prepare Abbie's homeschool stuff. 
  • Put kids down for nap
  • Clean bedroom- organize, put away clothes, take dirty clothes down stairs, and Vacuum floor.
  • Prepare a snack/ wake kids up
  • Clean up after snack
  • Make dinner-  Chicken wings, Green Beans, and Noodles
  • Check bills/ budget
  • Clean up kitchen after dinner 
  • Get girls ready for bed
  • Go to bed early
I also began to make a menu at the beginning of the week. It helps so that I don't wonder what to make for dinner and spend hours fighting with myself over what sounds good and if I have all the ingredients. 

While the house is not perfect, I would not be embarrassed if a friend or family member stopped by. This will also make Saturday cleaning go so much easier. 

Night all...