Saturday, June 16, 2012

My struggle with self image...

When I look into the mirror I don't recognize myself. I see this person who has glimpses of me but at the same time is not in the same body as I remember. At some points I try to avoid them, for fear of breaking down in tears. As distorted as it is, I don't imagine myself as a fat person. I feel trapped in my body. 

I am an emotional eater. I am sitting here filled with anxiety over what I am about to post, and trying to resist the large bag of  Cheetos that is calling to me. Though I know it is wrong, I am one of those people who eat to numb the pain. 

When I was speaking to a friend of mine, the other day, we were discussing anticipatory anxiety (where you become anxious at the thought of whatever might cause anxiety. One of my counselors told me that the best way to face it is head on. 

So here I go.... (heart beat races... breathing becomes rapid... sweat begins to accumulate on forehead.)

I had seen a news article on a very different blog. The Belly Project is where they are encouraging "real women", as they call them, to post a picture of their bellies. Under the picture they state the age and  any pregnancies, surgeries, or other things that make your belly what it is today. 

27 Yrs old & 2 Pregnancies (10 months post labor)

The truth:

I am beautiful from inside out. 
I am not alone. Many women have issues with their self-image.
I am wonderfully made but a great creator.
My belly housed my beautiful daughters. 
My mind can be deceptive and distort things even more. 

Proverb 31:30 "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Genesis 1:27 "So God created mankind in his own image, 
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them."

Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

How do you feel about your body? What do you think about the women from the Belly Project?


  1. Was there anything else to the project than posting the picture? What is their end goal/hope for those who participate? Just curious. I applaud your courage. I've been brave lately, but not *that* brave!!! You know what other song I always loved (though I love the Jonny Diaz one too)...Piece of Glass by Caedmon's Call. That and Beautiful by Bethany Dillon, though Big Girls (You Are Beautiful) is a good pick me up too!

    1. When I went on there it was pretty much just ladies putting pics of their bellies on there. They haven't been posting in a while but I have seen other blogs and websites that are copying their idea. The goal is to show what real women look like. Women that are the majority of America and have not been photoshopped. I like it because seeing a belly out there that looks like mine is encouraging. I have to check out Piece of Glass. I like the other songs too.


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