Monday, January 23, 2012

A long week

Things have been a little stressful but God has been so good. Family has had several health issue. Abbie had strep that wouldn't go away with the first batch of antibiotics. My mother's spot of skin cancer on her lip came back and now she is going to have a larger section removed from her lip this week and then plastic surgeon. My pains have been acting up lately but they seem to do that with the weather gets colder.

Financially things have been a little tight. I keep looking ahead and can see that soon there will be a time when things are a little better. I want to be a good steward. I am trying to learn how to have self control and pay ahead on bills instead of wasting money on things that will only benefit us temporarily. It is very hard to give into immediate gratification. I do not want riches but it would be nice to have financial stability.

I have really enjoyed being in the Discipleship University  class on Discipleship. The information we are covering is not difficult but is amazingly simple and yet so easily missed. Learning what God expects of us.

Matthew 4:18-22
Jesus Calls His First Disciples
 As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen.  “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.”  At once they left their nets and followed him.   Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Lifes Seasons

Just as there are with the earth our lives have seasons too. For the last several years I have been in a season of suffering. It seems like we have had nonstop troubles and difficulties arise. God has taught me so much through them. He has taught me about faith. He has taught me about His character. He has taught me how to get through things by putting focus on Him. And mostly He has taught me about His timing and His will. 
Drowning, I was drowning in all my worries. I literally felt as if I could not breath. I was just trying to make it by and to keep my head above water but waves of troubles came at me. I tried so hard to not give in. I spent most of my time and efforts trying to stay above the water and the times when I had nothing left I would scream out to my savior. "Help me Lord, I am drowning." There was no response. I tried to call out again, "Lord, I can't do it. Help." Still there was no response. My heart felt as defeated as my body was. Where was God? Why was He not answering me? 
Through times like those God had taught me a couple things. One- He is always there with me. God never abandons us but we so often abandon Him.  Two- He is in control of everything. God knows the troubles. Just as Jesus calmed the waves and winds when He and the disciples were on the boat He can calm the ones in my  life.  Three- God had given me the tools I needed to stay afloat but I had not prepared myself with them. If I had placed scriptures on my heart, just as one would place a life jacket on his or her body, I would have been lifted above the waves troubles. He had given me fellow believers to train with and reach out to. Four- God loves me. All that time I was just staying above water I didn't realize that it was God keeping me above water. If I had truly been alone I would have been swallowed up. As I started to see the truth I became stronger. God used those times to build me up and prepare me for future waves. When I took swimming lesson in high school the teacher had us practice saving a person who is drowning. We talked about how much harder it is to save a person who is in panic; thrashing about, who doesn't listen to your instruction, and who has no faith in you saving them. That person makes it more difficult to save them. Where as a person who trusts in you, heeds your instructions, and doesn't try to do it on their own gets saved so much quicker. I wonder how many times God was saving me and I just wasn't listening or trusting Him. 
God has begun to change the season that I am in. I can see and feel the connection that I have with God. I see Him moving in my life and in the life of my family. I don't know how long this season will be but even if it is just for a moment, I am so thankful for the time of rest. 
Ecclesiastes 3:1-11
A Time for Everything
 1 There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 2 a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 6 a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 8 a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.
 9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 

Romans 5:1-5

Peace and Hope
 1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Financial Struggles...

I may have titled this Financial struggle but the real struggle is in having faith that God will provide. Sometimes I feel like my head and my heart don't connect because I can know something with my head but still struggle to believe it. I know that God can, will, and has provided for us but when I see how close we cut it with the bills it worries me and I start to feel anxious. God provided for us the entire time my husband was off work and even through the first pay check. I know that things will be a little easier in a few weeks when the paychecks start coming in but for some reason I still worry. I only have two bills that are going to be just two weeks late when the next check comes in, and they aren't even dire. I will just have to keep praying that God can put my anxiousness to rest and can help me with my unbelief.

1 Peter 1:6-9 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.  These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Matthew 9:21-27 Jesus asked the boy’s father, “How long has he been like this?”
   “From childhood,” he answered. “It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us.”
    “‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.”
  Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!”
  When Jesus saw that a crowd was running to the scene, he rebuked the impure spirit. “You deaf and mute spirit,” he said, “I command you, come out of him and never enter him again.”
  The spirit shrieked, convulsed him violently and came out. The boy looked so much like a corpse that many said, “He’s dead.”  But Jesus took him by the hand and lifted him to his feet, and he stood up."

Friday, January 6, 2012

My Journey

The process of purification was never said to be an easy one. It is a process which takes time and work. To purify silver the Silversmith holds the metal over an intense fire. He waits as the impurities melt off. Once the Silversmiths reflection is visible in the silver he knows it is finished. If he leaves it in the fire for too long the silver will be destroyed.

I have often heard of this process compared to the process that we as Christians go through. God purifies us through trials and fires. It will be an ongoing process that will only be done when we are in Heaven with him. As we are purified He shines through us. We must have faith that God is in complete control.

Proverbs 25:4 
"Remove the dross from the silver, and out comes material for the silversmith"

Romans 5: 1-5 
"1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us."

I am glad to share my journey with you.

Great Scriptures

I love searching for scriptures on

Revelation 1:3

Blessed is the one who reads the words of this prophecy, and blessed are those who hear it and take to heart what is written in it, because the time is near.

Romans 5:1-5 

1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Psalm 27

Of David.
 1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
       whom shall I fear?
       The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
       of whom shall I be afraid?  2 When evil men advance against me
       to devour my flesh,
       when my enemies and my foes attack me,
       they will stumble and fall.
 3 Though an army besiege me,
       my heart will not fear;
       though war break out against me,
       even then will I be confident.
 4 One thing I ask of the LORD,
       this is what I seek:
       that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
       all the days of my life,
       to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
       and to seek him in his temple.
 5 For in the day of trouble
       he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
       he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle
       and set me high upon a rock.
 6 Then my head will be exalted
       above the enemies who surround me;
       at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with shouts of joy;
       I will sing and make music to the LORD.
 7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;
       be merciful to me and answer me.
 8 My heart says of you, "Seek his  face!"
       Your face, LORD, I will seek.
 9 Do not hide your face from me,
       do not turn your servant away in anger;
       you have been my helper.
       Do not reject me or forsake me,
       O God my Savior.
 10 Though my father and mother forsake me,
       the LORD will receive me.
 11 Teach me your way, O LORD;
       lead me in a straight path
       because of my oppressors.
 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,
       for false witnesses rise up against me,
       breathing out violence.
 13 I am still confident of this:
       I will see the goodness of the LORD
       in the land of the living.
 14 Wait for the LORD;
       be strong and take heart
       and wait for the LORD.

Proverbs 25:4
  Remove the dross from the silver,
       and out comes material for the silversmith;

Ephesians 6:11
Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes.

Hebrews 4:12
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart."

Jeremiah 17:9- 10
 9 The heart is deceitful above all things
       and beyond cure.
       Who can understand it?
 10 "I the LORD search the heart
       and examine the mind,
       to reward a man according to his conduct,
       according to what his deeds deserve."
Isaiah 59:12-14
 "12 For our offenses are many in your sight,
       and our sins testify against us.
       Our offenses are ever with us,
       and we acknowledge our iniquities:
 13 rebellion and treachery against the LORD,
       turning our backs on our God,
       fomenting oppression and revolt,
       uttering lies our hearts have conceived.
 14 So justice is driven back,
       and righteousness stands at a distance;
       truth has stumbled in the streets,
       honesty cannot enter."

Truths Revealed

In my life and on my walk I have told myself many lies. The only way to get rid of these lies is to see what God says about it.

Becoming a Christian means no more struggles.... Romans 5:3-5 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  
God can't forgive me... Acts 13: 38-39 "Therefore, my brothers, I want you to know that through Jesus the forgiveness of sins is proclaimed to you. Through him everyone who believes is justified from everything you could not be justified from by the law of Moses. 
God can't use me because I am not educated or smart enough... 1 Corinthians 2:1-2 When I came to you, brothers, I did not come with eloquence or superior wisdom as I proclaimed to you the testimony about God. For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified. 
I am too insignificant for God to love me... John 1:12-13 Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.  

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Learning Self-control

A lot of my shortcomings lead back to self-control, or my lack of. I feel that it has a great influence on many areas of my life. I was watching a show on Bravo titled Tabatha's Salon Takeover and she kept calling the employees "lazy and complacent." As I think of it I wonder if God looks at me and says the same thing. Lazy is bad enough being that it is only the act of being adverse to work or exertion. But to be complacent (Showing smug or uncritical satisfaction with oneself) also is terrible. I don't want to be proud of doing a half ass job.

I often start out with the best of intentions. I will be focused and motivated for a small amount of time but quickly lose it. I have a very difficult time carrying out anything. Areas of my life that it affect are household, school, health, spiritual walk, and relationships. 

As a mother I get so overwhelmed that the house is never done being cleaned. I feel like by the time I wash all the clothes, do the dishes, clean the house, and make dinner it all needs done over again. I know that I am supposed to have a pride in what I do and the kind of love for my family that makes me happy to do it but I don't. I find that I give up and will only have spurts of getting everything taken care of. I also hold resentment toward my husband and children for making the messes and expecting me to take care of it. I am trying to make a schedule for cleaning and to work on having a servants heart with my family. 

In school I will do very well for  a few months but then get behind. I was so upset at myself for failing a class last semester. I let my self procrastinate and I know that I have a habit to so I usually do work ahead of time to not worry about it. Then after failing I made excuses for myself saying that it was due to it being an online class, we had just moved, we just had a baby, and I was having health issues BUT the fact is that I know myself and if I had focused and worked ahead of schedule I would have gotten an "A" in the class. 

Health is a huge area of my life that things fall apart. I do have legit health issues but  being 115 lbs overweight does not help, it makes things worse. The difference between wishing and wanting is the drive to make it happen. I always say I want to go for a walk but then I just sit on the couch doing nothing. If I had really wanted to go for a walk I would have stood up, put on my shoes, and walked out the door. I would say I want to eat healthy but then grab a bag of popcorn and raw cookie dough. If I could work on eating better and being more active I would get the increased energy to be even more active. I would also take a lot of pressure off of my back, joints, and organs. 

I am not sure if it is the short comings in my spiritual walk that are affecting my struggles with self-control or if it is my short comings with self-control that are affecting my spiritual walk but either way both need help. I believe that a Christian should always be growing and changing as part of the purification process. As God purifies us we reflect Jesus more and more but it is a process that will continue until we go home to Christ. I need to work on having more quiet time with God and having more prayer. I need to be turning my struggle with self-control over to Him.  

These are the areas I hope to be working on and to journal through this blog.

Titus 2:3-5  Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good.  Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children,  to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. 

 Proverbs 16:32 Better a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who takes a city.